Monday, March 11, 2013

'Let Them Be Little'

that is a quote i saw on my beloved pinterest lately... 'let them be little'.

isn't that kind of strange to think about, or is that just me?

i never really take the time to think about how truly 'little' they are.  i expect and i expect and i expect and lately i feel like i haven't been giving them the opportunity to just be little.

parker was pouring a glass of water today, and he ended up knocking his glass off the table.  he immediately got the most frightened look on his face and blurted out, 'sorry!' before i could say anything.

what kind of monster am i?

is he really that afraid of making mistakes, or messes, because of what i might say.  of course, i don't want him making messes all over the house, but it was water.

i immediately ran over to him, cuddled him up and explained, over and over, that i wasn't upset and that it wasn't a big deal... i recently read a story:

This is  a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.
This is  a story about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he thought he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?
He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!
When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture, or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"
Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel, or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.
His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!
This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid to make mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.

and today i got to live out part of that story... we didn't get to go outside and try different ways of carrying it, but we did get down on the floor and play in the water (the little ones joined us), we then talked about the different ways that we could clean it up and then i just let him lead the rest of the conversation... it went everywhere from 'how is water made', 'how does the towel dry itself' to 'what kind of dinosaurs lived in the water' (we're in a dinosaur phase right now).

it was great to have that with him... i have to make mental notes to remind myself that most things are still new experiences to him and, right now, my opinions, words and reactions have the biggest influence on him.  of course i was annoyed that he spilt an entire (large) glass of water, but i don't want him to ever think that he has to fear me because of a mistake that he has made.  yes, i know there are times will do things that require a 'consequence,' but not always... especially this time.

i have been doing more and more researching on homeschooling and the more i am reading, the more i am realizing that i have to just 'let them be little'.  yes, parker LOVES doing workbooks and 'actual' curriculum sets, but he also loves hands on learning... mixing and cutting. moving and feeling.  he loves experiencing... what kid doesn't?  so, with that, i have decided to change my approach.  it's honestly going to take more work on my part (blah)... it has been so easy to open our book, see what i have to teach him, do it and be done.  now he (and the other boys) will be leading the way... if they want to spend an entire week playing with sand, so be it.  there are always ways to teach a child, and it's usually most productive when it's up to the child what they learn.

'what was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder.  it was not merely a world of miracles.  it was a miraculous world.' - chesterton

'it's more important to prepare your children for life than kindergarten.
*competence*
*confidence*
*self-worth*
*trust*
*empathy*
*emotional intelligence*'

how true is that?

so... instead of teaching my kids to know the days of the week, i want to help my child enjoy each day of the week... most of all, i want to teach myself to 
let them be little.