this tuesday was the worst tuesday of the year. ok, it's only been the second or third tuesday of 2013, but who is counting, eh?
anyways, where do i begin?
i don't have any idea what was going on with spencer. ok, i might have a slight idea, but seeing as the gemlin can't talk, i will just have to make guesses. i'm assuming it's either teeth, growing or better chances... his urge to be on the move. the kid took three naps. sounds great, right? no. they were three short-lived and annoying naps. i know i am expecting a lot from that little bugger, but if he could just get up and moving, that would be ah.maze.ing!
the two older kiddos have been at each other's throats today. i don't know if i'm just noticed the little bickering back and forth more today than i normally do, but better chances are that they need some space from each other. with this freakishly cold weather and disgusting flu going around, we have been pretty home bound lately and, obviously, that needs to change. we put up their slide climber and a trampoline... and last weekend ben put up a climbing ladder, climbing rope and an indoor swing. it has already made itself more than useful with these two busy bodies running around.
anyways, today was just dragging... everything the kids did was annoying and WAY too loud. i know i snapped at them (more than once) and the moment i did, i felt horrible. however, an hour later i'd do it again. i don't know what is going on, but today i was for sure not the mom i strive to be.
oh.. icing on the cake.. how could i ever forget?!?!
so, i had some clothes in rubbermaid containers upstairs.. this weekend i spent a whole day organizing clothes; hanging up 'new' stuff and packing away the stuff that they have outgrown. the bad part about having three boys in less than three years is that you're ALWAYS switching clothes around. parker and preston aren't close enough in size to just take if from parker's bar and put it up on preston's (that would be WAY too easy), so i pack it away for a total of like 2 months and then i unpack and do the whole process over again. then, when preston outgrows something i have to do it for him. however, preston is my 'little' one and spencer is, well, not. haha.. so i am reaching a point that the clothes can just be transferred from one to the other. (wow... this is boring... sorry). LONG STORY SHORT, i had a bunch of bins upstairs, all organized, and the boys decided to dump them all out and roll around in them. so awesome. i blew up. like.. bad. i had already had enough and this was just too far. i yelled and sent them downstairs to clean their playroom while i did this on my own. i seriously just didn't even want to look at them (horrible, i know).
i spent the next (i have no idea how long, i was too angry to calculate) bit of time re-sorting and packing. honestly, it wasn't as hard as the first time because i kind of remembered what went where, but still.. it sucked! i got the boys ready for bed and as we were all laying together, reading books, the guilt really sunk in....
i was so incredibly mean to them today. i had no patience and everything they said or did was inconveniencing me (even though i can't tell you a single thing i did all day).
i snuggled in extra close to them and let it all out. i apologized for how rude i was, for not giving the time they so obviously needed and for yelling at them. i started crying as i told them how bad i felt and that i was not proud of the way i acted. i, again, told them that they are allowed to point if i am ever treating them bad during the day and i will try to fix whatever it is that i am doing.
(keep in mind, parker is three and a half and preston is two)
i was awestruck by what happened next...
preston threw his little (but strong arms) around my neck and squeezed as hard as he could. then, when he was done, he gave me the biggest kiss on the cheek and then just laid back down next to me (with his arm still behind my neck).
parker just calming said, 'you know mom, you did make me really sad today but i'm not sad with you anymore. tomorrow let's just work as a team better.'
seriously.. am i not the luckiest girl alive?
good night all, and here is to hoping that tomorrow is a little brighter!