So, today I was checking out some cute quotes to add to some pictures and to the boys' scrapbooks. I stumbled on one that was truly meant for me, especially for the next couple of weeks...
'We've begun to raise our daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise their sons like daughters.' -Gloria Steinem
Ahhh.. I can't even begin to describe how much I needed to hear that today, but I will try!
Parker's second birthday is less then two weeks away (tear) and for the past five months I have been batting around gift ideas for Ben and I to get him. He's the typical boy... If it has wheels, makes noise, or has something to do with sports.. He loves it. But there is also another side to my wonderful little man, and that is the side that I really want to encourage. Parker also enjoys being creative (painting is huge on his list right now), learning (he has also been more obsessed than normal with books and workbooks) and being caring and compassionate (especially to Preston). Right now I have this feeling that I want and need to help him be as caring and compassionate that I possibly can before it becomes 'uncool' to be an innocent sweetheart! So, what are we getting him for his birthday you ask?
A dollhouse. Yes, a dollhouse. Ben is actually planning on making one, but either way.. A dollhouse.
Why? There are many different reasons (and depending on how long this takes me, I may get to all of them), but it all started when I would watch him play while he was ECFE. Everyday he would make his way over to the dollhouse. Not that he would spend the entire two hours there, but everyday, without fail, he would in some way or another show interest in it. It is so adorable to watch him play with it... 'Girl, sleep' he would say as he would tuck the little girl in to go to bed. 'Daddy, house' he would add, as he would have the dad walk though the living room. Not to mention the fact that everyday he would hug the little 'dolls' (yes.. my SON plays with DOLLS) and say goodbye. It was enough to make my heart melt!
At first I thought it was cute, but the more I watched what he was doing.. The more I realized he SHOULD be doing that. Why is it not ok for a little boy to play house? I started thinking about what he was learning/doing while he was playing with the dollhouse and the benefits definately outweighed the 'risks.' I want my son to be a well rounded boy/man/husband someday and creating his own little family at the age of two will get him on track to do that. He will get to role play different family dynamics and enter his own little world. Not only that, but the dolls at school are all different ethnicities/genders/sizes/ages and never once has he noticed a difference or show a preference. All I have seen, at this point, is that 'the mommy gives the baby a kiss and puts them to sleep or the daddy sits on the couch with his son' no matter what color their skin is. And isn't that how it should be also? I am constantly in awe at his innocence and I want to harbor his acceptance of others, individuality, compassion for others, and thoughtfulness as long as I possibly can. If there those of you out there that doing this will damage my child or even worse make him *gay* (eek!), I want you to tell me that so I can laugh in your face. (Did I mention his favorite color right now is purple? The poor kid is doomed).
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| Parker and his baby |
I'll admit, I questioned getting him a dollhouse, but not becuase I was afraid it would *make* him gay (in my opinion, he is going to be homosexual someday, that decision will not be made because I bought him a dollhouse), but I was afraid that he might be made fun... not now, but later. I just don't want him to have friends over when he's five and some stupid kid mocks him for having it. Then again, I am hoping my children will not be friends with boneheads like that.. So, I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I also am partically worried about the 'heat' I will catch for him having it. I was surprised at the reaction of one of the gifts he got for his first birthday.. A baby and a stoller. My main reasoning for asking someone to get that for him was because I was due with Preston and I thought it would be great for Parker to have his 'own' baby to take care of. Guess what? I was right! Not to mention the fact that it was one of his favorite presents.
So. long story short.. Parker is getting a dollhouse for his birthday and heck.. we might even paint it purple! Haha..
Obviously I'm in the same boat here! lol In addition to the cross dressing (glass slippers still rule the roost) and including both genders in his imaginative role playing, we now hear the phrase "when I was a little girl I used to..." haha! Good for you for encouraging him to be a well-rounded little boy. He'll get all the encouragement he needs to roughhouse and play with trucks from everyone else, so allowing your home and your family to be his safe place to try on other, gentler roles is really cool.
ReplyDeleteI worry about Jackson getting teased when he's older too, but even though he's really sensitive (hence the list of stuff he could be teased about as a boy) we're raising him in a way we know will make him confident and strong enough to work his way through those experiences when they come. Boys like ours become excellent husbands, so they may get teased a little when they're young, but when all the girls flock to them as they get older the tables will turn ;) haha!
Dawson likes dollhouses too! We had one for a while, but it broke. Their ECSE teacher brings dolls to the house to teach them about babies. I think letting them explore is healthy and normal, who cares if it's pink! :)
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