'Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own personality, especially while you struggle to keep your own.'
-Marguerite Kelly & Elia Parsons
Today has been one of those awesome and inspiring days...
Lately I have been making mental notes of things of importance and things that I really need to learn to let go. I have always known that I can not control others' actions and behaviors, but, daily, I am trying to remind myself of things like that. I think I am beginning to find some honest to goodness peace. I have always known that there are people out there who will always look down on you and try to make you feel like they are better than you and lately I am beginning to understand that that is out of my control... Completely. I am learning that their efforts need to just go wasted because I live a very happy and (in my opinion) successful life. I may not have a degree posted on my wall, but I do have a wonderful husband, amazing children and a roof over my head. All of which, I take tremendous pride in. I have said it before, but I have always known that I wanted to be a mother and the fact that I am lucky enough to not only be a mother, but to also be a full-time, stay-at-home mother... Words cannot describe the joy that gives me. I can honestly say that, since having the boys, there has never been a day that I wished I did something else. Of course there have been days that I wished I was somewhere else.. The beach with a margarita in my hand maybe? But I have loved the mess that I call life from day one.
Over the past couple of years, and especially the last few months, I feel like I have really grown into the type of person that I want to be (or at least the uphill battle is over). I have a truly inspiring support team, ranging from my encouraging family, to a group of awesome women who know me better than any friends before ever have and to even the strangers who I pass remind me of the type of grace and kindness I want to bestow onto others. I am probably going to sound like I need to be checked into the psych ward, but I feel that I have been inspired a lot more lately. Whether the inspiration is coming from the beautiful things that people create or from the astonishing little munchkins that I am lucky enough to call mine, I am so thankful that I have opened my eyes to it.
Don't get me wrong.. I know every moment isn't perfect.. But I have been trying to remind myself (as I am wiping butts, cleaning up messes, dealing with timeouts...)
'Oh my goodness, I am going to miss this'
Not only am I raising them and helping them form their personalities... But they are also helping to form mine.